How To Control Your Anger At Work

How To Control Yur Anger At Work At one point or abedrngnisher, weve all felt totally irritated while at work You pull an all-nighter on a project that then gets scrapped, a client criticizes your team for no apparent reason or you have a lazy co-worker who shows up late for a meeting again, dumping all the prep work on you.Its perfectly natural to experience a wide range of emotions in the workplace including anger. Negative emotions are bound to come up on the job just as they do in our personal lives and thats not a bad thing.Learning to productively and effectively communicate your emotions is key to boosting your emotional intelligence, which can make you a better leader and boost success across the board. In fact, getting fired up can motivate you and give you more focus to solve the problem at hand.Here are five ways to deal when works making you angry1. Learn your TriggersUnderstanding who and what makes you angry is key to heading off a full-blown freak out. Pay attention t o the circumstances and people present when you get angry so you can better anticipate and manage your reactions in the future.For example, if one particular colleague pushes your buttons, build in breaks during times when you know youll have to work together. This will give you space to disrupt any rising emotions that crop up if he provokes you and will help you avoid a hair-trigger reaction. No one likes being angry, so by anticipating triggering situations you can stay calm and collected.2. Dont Fight The FeelingWhen anger arises, were often quick to respond by rationalizing, blaming others or trying desperately to calm ourselves down. Instead of jumping straight to intellectualization, acknowledge that your anger is legitimate and normal. Anger is deeply embedded into our evolutionary code. Its how we fend off dangers and threats to our wellbeing.The next time you feel yourself getting angry, understand that trying to simply avoid it wont help. Find a way instead to release or disarm your anger in a healthy, self-respecting way. Try telling yourself, What I am feeling is natural, but it doesnt serve me. Accepting your reaction rather than fighting it will calm you down and free you to focus on problem solving.3. Focus on the Solution, notlage the ProblemWhile its easy and can initially seem comforting to dwell on whats making you angry, this isnt going to pay off in the long run. Ruminating is damaging because it takes time and mental energy away from problem-solving, leaving you stuck in negative emotion. Instead, focus on what lessons you can learn from the situation so that you move on in a productive way.Avoid making sweeping statements like, Whenever Jane asks me for reports, shenevergives me enough notice. Instead, try saying, I was late on a deadline because I was asked for the reports at the last minute. Ive noticed that this has happened in the past. How can we put a better protocol in place to make aya it doesnt happen in the future?4. Disrup t ItIf your temper is about to boil over, the first thing you need to do is find a way to disrupt the automatic thought pattern thats been triggered. Physically disconnecting from the situation can help Take a walk, step away from your desk to call a friend or take a few deep breaths.Practicing visualizations is another tactic that can help you manage anger in the long run. Picture yourself when youre reacting to your anger. How do you look, feel and sound? Do you like this image of yourself? Then, imagine yourself managing your anger appropriately, addressing the situation in a calm, constructive way. By taking a mindful approach to your anger, you have a better chance of harnessing it constructively and not allowing it to dominate you.5. Choose Your Words CarefullyIf and when you do decide to confront the situation thats making you angry head-on, be sure youve first spent some time identifying and articulating your feelings. Emotional labeling is important because it can minimize miscommunication and help you clearly assert your thoughts, opinions and desires. Speak to your boss or whoever is upsetting you the way they would like to be communicated with.For instance, if they value straightforward, results-oriented language, keep that in mind when addressing the problem. Ask them to describe the situation from their perspective as well to keep the lines of communication open and even. Here is a vocabulary worksheet that can help you find the exact words to express what youre feeling in the most appropriate way possible.Throughout your career, anger is an emotion youll confront and need to learn how to manage in order to become a leader. The key is to be sure youre equipped with the right tools to handle and communicate your anger effectively, professionally and in a way thats beneficial to your career over the long-term.--Melody Wilding helps ambitious women and female entrepreneurs master their inner psychology for success and happiness. She teaches human be havior at The City University of New York and is a nationally recognized Master Coach who distills psychological insights into actionable career advice. Learn more at melodywilding.com.Fairygodboss is committed to improving the workplace and lives of women.Join us by reviewing your employer